What kind of world will supermoms create?

Women have wanted equality and throughout the years, we’ve won many battles and many women have sacrificed themselves, giving their lives to the cause.Today, even though we live in a so-called equal society, white people and boys are still privileged at birth.

But once we touch on surnames, which are sort of self-evidently inherited from the husband or the father of the child, the equality starts to fade. Even the most liberal dads, like my partner, who isn’t bothered by same-sex couples or any minorities that many are intolerant to, who doesn’t care about the financial status or titles of some strutting individuals, broke when it came to the topic of inheriting the surname. After all, our daughter has my surname – my husband had difficulties getting used to this fact, and the society probably won’t reconcile with it for years.

That is only a small battle compared to some others. Let me talk a bit about maternity leave, which is nicely wrapped in cellophane but stinks on the inside. Both parents can use it, but if they do, the duration of the maternity leave shortens, which is the first trick. Most men don’t take advantage of it anyway, but those rare men who are brave and open-minded enough to want to use it, encounter an outdated thinking by employers.

Today, dads work more than ever before and they are home only a couple of hours at a time. So, in the first year, the child spends the majority of their time with their mom, who has to be a supermom. Nuclear families, without the support of grandparents and the extended family, are increasingly frequent and take their toll. In this period, many mothers either lose themselves forever or yet elsewhere, the children bear the consequences when they’re raised by strangers.

In this, let me give a word of caution that up to the third year of age, the child develops with incredible speed and their brain has the power of being filled up faster than it ever will later on. Consequently, what we give to the child until then is like a departure point for all their lives, and for many children, this is a contribution made mostly by mothers, sometimes grandmothers, nannies, teachers and, in some cases, fathers for an hour or two. And these are the generations that are supposed to create a better world, a better future?

So, let us not turn away anymore. Raising a child means taking the time for them. The amount of quality time that we give them in the earliest period and the kind of person they grow up into, whether they will be HAPPY, capable of LOVING, being COMPASSIONATE towards the fellow man … all this depends purely and simply on the time of both, the MOM and the DAD, who can keep their essence, an identity that is a good example to the child, only if they work together. Only such a child will be capable of being HAPPY, only such a child will be truly capable of LOVING and being LOVED!

And only such a person will be capable of creating a BETTER WORLD.

SLO: Kakšen svet bodo ustvarile supermame?

Ženske smo si želele enakopravnosti in dobile skozi leta številne bitke pri čemer so se mnoge ženske žrtvovale in dale življenja. Danes, čeprav živimo v tako imenovani enakopravni družbi še vedno veljajo za priviligirane ob rojstvu vsi belci in fantki.

Če se dotaknemo priimkov, ki se nekako sami po sebi umevno dedujejo po možu oziroma očetu otroka, začne enakopravnost počasi bledeti. Še tako liberalni očetje, kot je moj partner, ki ga ne zmotijo istospolni partnerji, niti manjšine do katerih so mnogi nestrpni, ki mu ni mar za finančni status in nazive s katerimi se kitijo nekateri, se je pri temi dedovanja priimka zlomil. Najina hči se kljub vsemu piše po meni, mož pa se je le s težavo navadil na to dejstvo, družba pa se verjetno nebo sprijaznila s tem še leta.

Ampak to je le majhna bitka v primerjavi z ostalimi. Dotaknem naj se porodniškega dopusta, ki je lepo zavit v celofan, znotraj pa zaudarja. Koristita ga lahko oba, vendar se pri tem čas porodniškega dopusta skrajša, kjer je prva ukana. Sicer ga večina moških tako ne koristijo, tisti redki moški, ki so tako pogumni in odprte glave da bi ga želeli koristiti, pa naletijo na pretpotopno razmišljanje delodajalcev.

Očetje delajo danes več kot kadarkoli prej in so doma le po nekaj ur. Otrok tako večji del časa preživi v prvem letu starosti z mamo, ki mora biti v današnjem času supermama. Nuklearne družine, brez podpore starih staršev in širše družine, so danes namreč vse pogostejše in zahtevajo svoj davek. Mnoge mame izgubijo v tem obdobju ali za vedno sebe, spet drugje posledice nosijo otroci, ki jih vzgajajo tuji ljudje.

Naj pri tem opozorim, da se do tretjega leta otrok razvija z neverjetno hitrostjo in da imajo možgani moč polnjenja kot ga ne bodo imeli nikoli več. Zato kar damo otroku do tedaj je kot popotnica za vse življenje in pri mnogih je to popotnica, ki jo prispevajo večinoma mame, včasih babice, varuške, vzgojiteljice in pri nekaterih celo kakšno uro očetje. In to so generacije, ki naj bi oblikovale boljši svet, boljšo prihodnost ?

Zato se ne obračajmo več stran. Vzgojiti otroka pomeni vzeti si čas zanj. Koliko kakovostnega časa mu bomo podarili v najzgodnejšem obdobju in v kakšnega človeka bo odrasel, ali bo SREČEN, ali bo sposoben LJUBITI, biti SOČUTEN do sočloveka,…pa je odvisno samo in zgolj od časa obeh, OČETA in MAME, ki lahko le skupaj ohranita svojo bit, identiteto, ki bo za zgled otroku. Le takšen otrok bo sposoben biti SREČEN, le takšen otrok bo resnično sposoben LJUBITI in biti LJUBLJEN!

In le takšen človek bo sposoben oblikovati BOLJŠI SVET.

Photo: Helena Kermelj

 Women Dress: MajaFermefashion

Children clothes: Petit Bateau, shop Lili in Roza

Jewellry: Goldenink

Hair: Tamarateam